Wag bantayan ang rice cooker

The heart wants what the heart wants.  It's as simple as that.

I can always tell myself its not realistic for me to just forget about him, or that I deserve better, etc.
Because even if I believe it, I can't really stop myself from feeling what I'm feeling.

So, since a part of me is umaasa, hayaan ko syang umasa.

Don't repress that part of you that hopes.

Kasi, maski ulit ulitin ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako aasa, aasa at aasa pa rin ako.  And the more I tell myself na wag umasa, the deeper I dig this hole I'm in.

So, fine.  I will tell myself "Okay, Adi, pwede pa to...pwede pa to. Pero hindi ko buburuhin ang sarili ko sa kakaintay. I will go out, meet people and enjoy life"

Because, really, the first priority should be for me to feel better about myself and my life.

An analogy from my friend:

"Sige, magsaing ka ng kanin pero wag mong sayangin ang oras mo na hintayin o bantayan syang maluto kasi nakakaloka yon diba? So habang niluluto, dun ka muna sa sala, manood ng tv.  Kasi malay mo, tuluyan mo nang makakalimutan na gusto mo pala ng kanin."

So, I will start having fun again, as in genuine fun, because in my head I will think "Bakit ko poproblemahin yon eh niluluto pa?"

I just need to be in a point where I am enjoying life again - na makakalimutan ko na may niluluto pala ako.  And if the only way to do that is to allow myself now to hope, then I think its okay.

BUT: Wag bantayan ang rice cooker.  Magma-mall na lang muna akech or manood ng TV.
Wag kunwari lang na manonood ng tv pero ang utak naman na sa rice cooker.

Ok, Adi? :)