Telling My Mom I'm moving out

Moving out is such a big step for me and my family. I will be the first one in the family to move out that's why it was kinda hard for me to tell my parents.

Surprisingly, telling this to my dad was such a breeze. I was expecting lots of questions and reluctance from my father. But apparently he viewed it as a mature way of going through life. That it will teach me to be more responsible. So, that's that then. Next problem is how to divulge it to my ultra emotional mom.

I got home late one night and found my mom doing some lumpiang shanghai in our dining table. Seeing this as an opportunity to talk to her, I sat down and ate dinner beside her (although I already had my dinner). So I told her. She was quiet for most of the time, just giving me snippets of advices. Although there was no outright refusal on my plans, I can feel that she was really sad especially the choice of words she used. "Don't forget your kapatids ha." or "Have you packed your things already? If so, aayusin ko na ba yung mga gamit na iiwan mo?" or "If possible, let's keep our communications open always." or "Natupad na yang dream mo." or "Iiwan mo na kami...."

I plan to go home on weekends. But, i'm sure, I will be tamad for most of the time. I just reassured her na I will not completely leave them and that if they need me, I'm just a text away or If I need them, I hope I can still count on them.

Although I expected that she's gonna cry, nothing like that or anything heavy happened. But honestly, talking it out with her felt heavy.

Then silence.

I said my good nights and left her.

But before I went to my room, I made silip from the hallway near my bedroom if she's okay. And that's when she cried. Alone. While making lumpiang shanghais.

Breaks my heart until now.