Dreams of Late

I don't know if it's bad or good, but I keep having these dreams, almost every night, that I lost my job and buying a ticket home.

Bad, because I need the job.

Good, in a way, because I get to go home and see my loves.

The general feeling of it all, upon waking up, is relief. Which tells you that I'm not ready yet, at least financially, to go home permanently.

Perhaps, the stress and the very heavy work load give my subconscious a small tiny spec of that desire to have one big break from it all. I cannot emphasize more how overwhelming work at this time. I mean, I've been through really tough, tough times back in the Philippines, where its really more advanced, competitive and aggressive. But, this one takes the cake. Seriously, I want to cut my body and brain, not only to two, but to 20 just to be able to do everything at the right pace, much focus and standards at high quality.

Anyway, this week was sort of hell. I was, literally, running around like a headless chicken, trying to fix everything, trying to carry everything so that everything fall into place, making sure not a single thing fall into the cracks.

Yesterday, Friday night, I had invitations from different friends to go out. But I just couldn't. My body surrendered. It collapsed into the wonderful embrace of my bed. Nothing, or better yet, NO ONE, could make me get out of it.

Even as I type this, I look back on the week that was, and I feel tired already. Again.

But I can't, because I have one more meeting in a short while. Yes, on a Saturday.
Worrsszzt.


After that, to the bed I go back! And please, no more of those dreams. Please.